Then your pain is a different kind from mine... also the reason people keep the kinds of secrets they can't tell anyone isn't because they don't know courage, it's because they also know shame. Being ashamed of yourself has nothing at all to do with being a coward. Sometimes it does. Other times it's because they know if they share such pains, the ones around them will only hurt and reject them. Some people aren't strong enough to handle things like that. You might be... but they aren't you. They are people with their own strengths and weaknesses. Try to understand the kind of anxiety they might have. Like being lost in a dark forest and wanting to scream but if you do the beasts of the forest will hear and devour you. It's not cowardice, it's more a lack of trust in the world around them. I know that feeling because I've been in a situation where everything I am would be rejected and scorned. I'm stronger now, and I know better than to let other people decide what I can and cannot say or do. But there was a time where I'd rather stay silent and pretend to be normal. You might be different. You might never have known the pain of being sure no one could ever accept you. but that's the kind of pain that drives one to like a place like DAS. No one can judge you because they don't know who you are. They can condemn your actions but not you. Please... Try to understand, the ones behind the words. Some of them are whiny, but to them it's a big deal.
It is true...shame is a very good reason to keep secrets. You have a very good point sir... this justification is the perfect example... I agree with you. However the majority of the secrets I have seen, do not deserve such wisdom. Sometimes, you have to face your inner demons and exploiting them anonymously is not the answer. But... to sin is human and I will always stand up for the human spirit. I understand their pain... but sometimes... pain but used to push them forwards, instead of burdening others, we all insignificant human's after all...with individual fears and experiences.. I do understand...more than you think. It's why it shames others around to see that there is someone with equal pain and there's nothing we can do to help them nuture and stand up. It makes me feel disappointed more than angry... sometimes hurtful slurs are a way of showing someone out there... cares enough to show passion in your cause. Sometimes the right words can change your perspective.. .and by hiding those words behind a curtain... you only bring more burden upon yourself. Then sometimes people are assholes and you just gotta ignore them or fuck em'.
I agree with you as well. Being able to face who you are, what you have done, to cast aside shame and step forward with honesty is important. No one can accept you for who you are if you do not accept yourself. And yes, some of those secrets are not there because the user is actually hurting, too ashamed to be themselves, some are there simply for the attention and condolences. Those secrets don't deserve to be called secrets. I come here everyday hoping to find someone who is sad, and make them smile. because we all are human, we all make mistakes, and no one should be judged for who they are. I know from experience, there are some things you just can't handle alone. It's why I appreciate DAS, because the page in itself is good. It's a way to take that first step forward in admitting who you are, and only once you've admitted it, acknowledged that part of you that shames you, can you accept it. But as with any system, it's abused and used for things it shouldn't be. I also know how well a few good insults an be used to drive someone to prove you wrong... Of all the people I've met and helped, I've had to yell at a few of them to stop moping and do something about their own worries. Some of the things I said were hurtful, but they had caring behind them. and today those people are stronger and happier. In a way DAS is a method of reaching out. To see if anyone really would support you. It's just a system with no filter. People post things for the sake of doing so. It makes me sad because of all the voices crying out for help and guidance, those few saying 'look at me' make all the people behind those voices look bad. You start to wonder if any of them at all are really calling for help. In the end because you don't know who it is, you can neither judge, nor accept them. Because you can't tell their voice from the ones who scream for attention. So I guess what I'm saying is, you're right, anonymity is not the way to go, it's more comforting to know no one can tell who you are, but in the end it still proves nothing. It might feel better for awhile, but you still have to look your friends and family in the face and think 'they don't know'. Some people haven't learned to ignore insults either, it took me awhile to get to the point words from the mouths of strangers aren't enough to hurt me. Perhaps these people aren't there yet. but I at least find comfort in the fact that they've started to accept whoever they are. Someday soon I hope they tell someone they trust. Someone who'll nurture and help them where we, simple observers, cannot.